Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
