she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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