I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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