His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
