Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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