I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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