This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
