just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
