Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Someone signed my nipple.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize