I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
