So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
