Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
