Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
