tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The air was thick with penises
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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