Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Say something about gay babies.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
