Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
