what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
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