If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
