Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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