READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
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So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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