Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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