but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
