He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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