Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
