She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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