so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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