Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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