I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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