Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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