On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
smell my finger.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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