Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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