Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
