I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
