I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
birth control should be required to get into college
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
