maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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