When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
