So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize