I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Mom said you looked used
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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