Cold hands, warm shart.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
