omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Your penis caused this!
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