ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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