There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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