Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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