It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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