FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
