well I can't set my house on fire every night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
