Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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