dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
