I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
