distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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