so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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