I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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