Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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