I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
