I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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