Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
