just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
