He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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