Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
