I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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