Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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