You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
